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How To Bumble Your Way To A Billion Dollars
And all by chance, hope, and a little luck…
My wife likes to buy lottery tickets. Not like as in an obsessive-compulsive habit, instead as a “I’m already in line here to get milk so gimme two of the ‘Wazoo Wrangler Billion Dollar Scratch Offs,’” she’ll tell the clerk.
Of course, the clerk turns to this literal WALL of tickets, scratch-offs, shiny foil colors, and all different dollar amounts and has no idea what the hell “Wazoo Wrangler” is but damn, my wife sure does. She directs his beady eyes and tiny hands two rows up, no, nope, one more up…now to the right… THAT’S IT, and he tears off ten bucks worth. Slides them across the grimy counter.
She wants soooo bad to grab a quarter from the bottom of her purse and scratch that SOB right there because THIS IS THE ONE, and since I’m already in line, the clerk can just pay me my fortune right this minute…but then she notices about four folks behind her, milk in their hand, promise in their eyes, so she drops them little pieces of hope into her purse.
She even has a special pocket for them.
You know, in case there’s a stick-up, the burglar can take her wallet but damn it, they ain’t gonna find that scratch off.
