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Screw Your Morning Routines
…and other things that piss off Navy SEALS
The alarm didn’t go off today.
Mainly because I didn’t set it.
That’s priority number one for my sometimes off, morning routine. And yeah, that routine actually started the night before by NOT setting the damn alarm.
I can already hear and feel the collective gasps from all y’all, some even pulling out their red pens to mark me with the Scarlett letter ‘L/F’…for Lazy-Fuck.
And that’s ok because I just read yet another article on how you too can live your best life by merely following this daily routine.
It then ALWAYS goes into how you shouldn’t check social media and definitely leave your emails untouched.
Then some variation of a down-dog stretch and twenty minutes of meditation. For some reason, it’s never 17 minutes, and 25 minutes is just way too long. So get that damn 20 minutes of meditating before you plow into your gluten-free, keto, pancakes.
Usually, coffee is involved, or some sort of ancient green tea scraped from the bark of a tree found only in remote Nepal style beverage. (This is where I totally get the image of a made for TV, beautiful model, gently cupping a steaming mug of coffee while overlooking some unreal, crystal clear lake in the…
